The hallmark of leadership is simply the ability to influence the decision of others. Whether in a formal setting, like an organization, or an informal setting, like friends and family, leadership is defined as that ability to influence others. It could be influencing them towards a goal, towards making a behavioural change, or towards a feat. So, you can be a leader even without bearing the title.

“How to Make Friends and Influence People” is the title of the classic by Dale Carnegie where he outlined the rules that guides making friends and influencing others. [I recommend you read the book]. Through the book, there are two lessons that standout. In fact, it is my opinion that the book can be summarized by these two terms: authenticity and empathy.

Friend, you should be able to influence or inspire people in your circle. You should have a moral suasion on the people around you, otherwise, something is wrong with your depth. Maybe not in all areas, but in some important issues, your circle should be able to rely on you for the right influence. And authenticity and empathy are how to achieve that.

Having genuine interest in people around; remembering people’s names; being generous with praise, and so on, are lessons from Dale Carnegie’s book that can be sandwiched in authenticity and empathy. Becoming friends with people only for the gain you hope to get from them, is unauthentic. Giving a compliment because you want to make a request later, is not genuine.

Empathy, on the other hand, is understanding and sharing the feelings of others. Being genuinely part of people’s downtime is how you get invited to their uptime. Afterall, we are humans, we need those comforting and encouraging words. Be that person to others, and you can influence them when you need them too.

To conclude, friend, go out of your way for others. Continue to invest in your circle of friends. Keep building others up as much as you can. You will need people to stand by you in the future, and it will be those you planted as seeds that will come through for you.

I am rooting for you. Cheers.